Buried in Snow
by Biskitty
Summary: COMPLETE! A series of themed shorts, Cloudcentric. Some Cloti and some angst. Please Review!
1. Distance

So here we go, a series of drabbles/shorts about our favourite little chocobo!

I dedicate this to Jediempress and Shattered Mirror01 who reviewed my other KH fic 'Silence and Motion' from start to finish.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Cloud and Aeris/Aerith.

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**Distance:** the state or fact of being apart in space, as of one thing from another; remoteness; absence of warmth; reserve

Love and hate. Two different things, right? And yet, he both loved and hated looking at her. She wasn't right. She was supposed to be dead but she was there in front him.

When he first saw her, he'd been almost too shocked to say anything. "Aeris…?"

She had smiled. "Actually, it's Aerith."

He had been too afraid to ask what the change in name meant. Too afraid to ask whether this meant she was a different person.

She had memories, memories that Aeris had, but no-one knew better than him that memories could be deceiving.

For now, he chose to both love and hate her, drawn to her but keeping his distance.


	2. Incomplete

Yay, a double update!

'Fraid I'll be focusing on Cloti folks, that's Cloud/Tifa rather than Cloud/Aerith. That's just the way I am!

**Disclaimer:** the characters belong to SquareEnix.

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**Incomplete:** not complete; lacking some part.

Strange, but he felt incomplete without her. Even with Aerith here, he felt he was missing something.

Was he doomed to always pining after the one he'd lost rather than the one he had? Was he so short-sighted that he could only see what he had when he'd lost it?

She'd been a childhood friend. Or at least that's what people thought. She knew better of course, but she'd accepted him. Like he _had_ been her best friend since childhood, instead of just being the kid who'd always stood on the outside.

And now she was gone. He'd slipped into darkness without her, unable to separate the complex feelings aroused by her absence. Fighting his way out would be hard without her, but he tried.

For her, he tried.

He called her his light because she'd always believed in him, even when he hadn't believed in himself. Even when he hadn't _known_ himself.


	3. Understand

Just a little musing...

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Cloud or Leon.

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**Understand: **to perceive what is meant; grasp the information conveyed.

What kind of person _deliberately_ tried to be alone?

Cloud had found Leon difficult to understand at first. Actually he still found him difficult to understand, but that's beside the point.

As far back as he could remember, Cloud had always been alone. No friends as a child, shy and difficult to deal with as an adolescent and his later teenage years were best forgotten.

He'd always been on the outside desperately trying to get in, but not knowing how. A sensitive child, he'd hated being alone.

So to find a man like Leon, who pushed people away before they could get close, who always _chose _to be alone, well, it'd been confusing.

If pressed, Cloud, when younger would probably have opted for the 'it is better to have love and lost' theory, whilst Leon definitely went with the 'never love at all' part.

It's funny how you can change your mind about things.


	4. Frozen

Had to pop Zack in somewhere but I'm afraid this is it for this fic...

**Disclaimer:** SquareEnix owns all.

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**Frozen:** to lose warmth of feeling; be stunned or chilled with fear, shock, etc.; to become unfriendly, secretive, or aloof.

_Think you can handle this many?_

_Well, might be tough if one more shows up._

_Then that'll be the one I take care of._

_What, you're fighting, too?_

Joking around with Leon had felt just like being with... Zack.

Zack…

Fun-loving, full-of-life, Zack.

Everything-Cloud-wasn't, Zack.

_Hang in there._

In many ways, he'd been envious of Zack.

Zack had charm, personality. He wasn't shy and weird.

Zack wasn't a failure. He'd made it to SOLDIER.

But Zack'd been his friend. Even though no-one else was.

So when Zack disappeared, something had… frozen inside him.

_We're friends right?_

He wasn't the only one who'd lost something that day.

But his feelings weren't something he could share.

So he tried to ignore them. Forget them…

And ended up forgetting about Zack instead.

_I said I'd live out both our lives…_


	5. Shy

Just something more light-hearted to relieve the angst that has been and will be coming!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Cloud, Leon, Sora or whoever Sora's talking to.

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**Shy:** bashful; retiring; easily frightened away; timid.

"Cloud doesn't talk much, does he?"

"Cloud's just shy, Sora."

"Shy?! Cloud? A guy who carries around an enormous, attention grabbing sword?"

"It was given to him... The sword that is."

"But seriously, shy?"

"Yeah… Apparently when he was a child he couldn't even muster up the courage to talk to the other kids."

"That's… a little sad."

"Tifa… she always said he was teased a lot as a child."

"… still sad…"

"Anyway, that's why he doesn't talk much now. I guess it's just… habit."

"…so… is Leon shy too?"

"Hardly! Leon's just anti-social."

"Figures…"


	6. Illusion

Hey, no more updates for the next two weeks, just to let you know.

**Disclaimer:** SquareEnix own Cloud and the quotes in _Italics_.

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**Illusion:** something that deceives by producing a false or misleading impression of reality.

I can't… do this alone…

_It's not my problem..._

Without you… I… don't know where to go…

_People tell me that my personality is divided._

… What to do…

_I don't think so, but maybe it is._

… Without you… I'm nothing…

_What about us... what are WE supposed to do?_

I want to be strong… I want to find you…

_What about my pain?_

… But I don't know where to start… I'm caught in darkness…

_I wasn't pursuing Sephiroth; I was being summoned by him._

… I'm afraid…

_T__he master of my own illusionary world._


	7. Strange

A double update, simply because these two chapters belong together...

**Disclaimer:** SquareEnix own everything...

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**Strange:** unusual, extraordinary, or curious; odd; queer; outside of one's previous experience; hitherto unknown; unfamiliar.

She'd been surprised when he asked her. It was late and he was so tired, he was rambling.

'_So, who are you anyway?'_ She'd smiled, thinking he was joking.

'_Silly. It's me, Aerith.' _He'd nodded a reply and she'd thought that was it. She had been trying to figure out whether to leave him there with a blanket or try and get him to bed when he spoke again.

'_What did you do with Aeris?' S_he'd frowned at him. _'With my Aeris? The one I knew'_

'_Cloud…' _She had been unable to figure out what he was getting at. _'I am your Aeris. It's just a slightly different name.'_

He'd snorted, perhaps a laugh now she thought about it. _'What? You go and do a Leon on me?'_

She'd looked at him uncertainly. _'It's just a name Cloud. I just liked that spelling better.'_

He had shaken his head. _'You people here are strange.' _She hadn't thought much of it at the time…


	8. Confused

Following on... I split this and the previous one in two, to stop it from being too long. They work separately though!

**Warning! Implied Alcohol Consumption!!! ...**Is that big enough?

Disclaimer: SquareEnix own it.

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**Confused:** perplexed or bewildered.

She'd found him in the same place the next night. She'd been worried because… he seemed… well… she figured that everybody needed a drink now and then… and he was old enough...

He had shaken his head when he saw her. _'You're not Aeris. I saw Aeris die.' _

'_What? What are you talking about?' _She'd been horrified. For a long moment it had seemed as though he'd not been going to answer, and then… in a raw whisper, he confessed.

'_When we first left this place, I was supposed to go with Tifa… But I came back to find you… to find Aeris. When I saw… her, she was under attack… I…I couldn't save her. She got hurt, she… I couldn't get to her, but I knew… I knew she was gone…'_

Tears had clogged her throat but she had swallowed them. _'Cloud, I didn't die. Cid and Merlin, they rescued me... and I made it to Traverse Town.'_

She'd hung her head slightly then, a wry smile on her lips. _'You were right about me; I did 'do a Leon'. I changed my name because... because, like Leon, I didn't want to always remember what I'd lost... I wanted to be someone just a little bit different...' _

'_I lost her…' _Cloud had been mumbling to himself.

'_I'm not lost Cloud, Aeris isn't gone.' _She'd tried desperately to reassure him, but it hadn't been enough.

'_Not Aeris… I lost Tifa. I couldn't find her again, she was gone.' _A single tear had slid down his cheek then, but he hadn't noticed. _'I lost everything that day… Aeris… Tifa…my light…'_


	9. Light

Well, I had to have a go at this...

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Cloud, Tifa or Aerith.

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**Light:** the radiance or illumination from a particular source.

The first time Tifa appeared in front of him, he seriously considered taking Aerith's advice to cut back on the whisky.

"Tifa…" It was hard to speak, he was afraid. "I thought you were… that you had… died."

There, he'd said it. It was probably the alcohol talking. She shook her head at him. "This isn't like the Cloud I know."

It bothered him that she hadn't reacted to his statement. It bothered him that she hadn't attempted to touch him. In fact, he was just bothered by the whole thing.

"Tifa… You _are _dead aren't you?" Her smile was sad, seemingly conformation of his fears, yet even now she avoided the subject.

"Cloud… don't lose yourself in darkness." He shook his head slowly, before replying.

"I… can't find a way out. I… I lost my light, when I lost you." If he'd been more sober he might about the state of his mental health, conversing with someone dead. But then, it wouldn't be the first time…

"Your light is always with you… _I'm _always with you." She seemed to shine slightly, making him wince.

"You… you really are dead." The only speeches he'd ever heard about people always being with him had involved that person being dead.

She shook her head. "It's not that simple Cloud. But… if you continue to get lost in darkness, I… I won't be able to find you."

He sat up then. "You mean, you might come back?"

"If I can find you…" She seemed to be fading. "… I won't ever stop looking Cloud…"

"Tifa…" He didn't want her to leave. "How can I find a way out of the darkness …" It was too late she'd vanished.

"… When you're not here?


	10. Mosey

Well, I just had to call this chapter mosey... nyuk, nyuk (to quote Yuffie!).

**Disclaimer:** Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts belong to SquareEnix.

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**Mosey:** to wander or shuffle about leisurely; stroll; saunter.

Sometimes he couldn't tell where Zack stopped and Cloud began.

There were some things he did that he knew actually came from Zack.

Like his victory move, for example.

Some of the things he said were also leftovers from Zack.

Like 'let's mosey'.

There were some things he definitely knew came from himself.

Like the shyness.

Like the emotionless façade.

Still…

Sometimes, he would do something… say something… and be unable to tell whether he was Zack… or Cloud.

He figured it wasn't such a bad thing.

He'd forgotten Zack once.

At least this way, a little bit of Zack stayed with him.


	11. Idiot

Just a true and justified opinion of Cloud... well of the Cloud in this fic anyway!

**Disclaimer:** Yuffie and Sora are products of SquareEnix.

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**Idiot:** an utterly foolish or senseless person.

"So… all that time, Cloud thought Aerith was dead?"

"Yeah! Weird right?"

"The poor guy…"

"You're too soft Sora. Cloud's an idiot!"

"Why do you say that?"

"Oh come on. He's been living here for over a year and he never said anything about it. Only an idiot would believe that the person standing in front of them is dead!"

"Well… when you put it like that…"

"See… idiot!"

"So if he thought… Aerith was dead, then what did he think she was? If that made any sense?"

"Who knows? I'm not asking!"

"Hey, Yuffie? How did you find out about this anyway?"

"… ummm… ah, a ninja never reveals her secrets!"

"… I don't think I want to know…"


	12. Mask

I'm not quite sure where this one came from...

**Disclaimer:** this is work without profit.

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**Mask:** a covering for all or part of the face, worn to conceal one's identity; anything that disguises or conceals; disguise; pretence.

Everybody wears masks.

Masks that are put on when scared.

Marks that are put on when sad.

Masks that are worn with friends.

Masks that are worn with strangers.

Some masks are useful, like a poker face.

Some masks are necessary, like hiding grief from a child.

These masks are slid on and off.

Not his mask.

He wore his mask like he wore his skin, all the time.

In fact, he didn't even realise it _was _a mask.

The more he felt the less he showed.

The more he hurt the better his mask clung to him.

Everybody wears masks.

But not everyone keeps them on.


	13. Jealous

A double up-date, partly because I feel that these two just go together, and partly because I won't be able to up-date next week.

Got this from something mentioned in the extras of Advent Children. Plus the quotes are Tifa's from FFVII.

**Disclaimer: **still not making any money from this...

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**Jealous:** feeling resentment because of another's success, advantage, etc.

If he was honest, he'd admit he was jealous.

Jealous of the others for being happy.

Jealous because they were comfortable in their own skins.

_A memory is something that is consciously recalled, right?_

Everytime he started to let go…

Everytime he almost smiled…

He'd remember.

_That's why sometimes, it can be mistaken or wrong._

He'd become afraid…

Afraid that it would happen again…

That he wouldn't be able to protect someone he loved.

_It's different from a memory locked deep within your heart._

So he'd back off…

He'd push them away…

He'd be alone.

_I made it this far, believing in the memories we shared._

Sometimes it seemed the happier he was, the more lonely he became.


	14. Fooled

Sorry I'm behind. The final Harry Potter book just left me a bit devestated and I've been reading HP fanfiction to cheer myself up!

Anyway, to make up for it, here's a double up-date. Oh, and this one conects a little with the chapter 'Lost' in 'Silence and Motion' if you're iterested.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters.

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**Fooled: **To deceive or trick; dupe.

Yuffie spotted the brunette women in the square and for a second hope flared. Then she quashed it. She was not going to be fooled again.

Silently approaching the woman from behind using her superior ninja abilities, Yuffie took a swift inventory.

The woman wasn't wearing the right clothes. Tifa had always worn a white tank top and black mini-skirt with braces. _This _woman was wearing a black sleeveless top and what appeared to be a long skirt.

Something about her clothes struck a chord. They seemed similar to Cloud's all black attire…

However the woman's hair was also wrong. Tifa's hair had been long, reaching her butt and tied at the end with a red hair band. _This _woman's hair was shorter, above her elbows.

Although… it was the same shade…

"… Tifa…?" Yuffie's voice was quiet, uncertain.

The woman heard her though and turned, a smile on her face. "Yuffie!"

Yuffie pressed a hand to her mouth. Although she looked different, _this _woman was most definitely Tifa. She ran towards her long-lost friend.

"We thought you were dead!" Yuffie squeeze Tifa in a hug, certain now that this was real.

"... did… did Cloud tell you that..?" Tifa held her so tightly Yuffie was unable to look at the older woman's face.

"Not exactly… he said he'd 'lost' you" Tifa laughed and Yuffie hugged her harder.

Tifa pulled back from the hug to smile at the small ninja. "That Cloud. He's a royal pain in the ass!"


	15. Realisation

From now one, the drabbles will be conected. Finally a story of some description... although, without a real plot...

It was upon writing this particular chapter that I realised I'd not included anything about Tifa being Cloud's light, duh! So i wrote 'Light' to fill that gap.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own these characters.

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Realisation: coming to understand something clearly and distinctly.

He'd seen her so often, in his dreams and in spirit form, that he dismissed the person with Yuffie as just another part of his imagination.

When later, he saw her again and she waved, he looked away. She was alone and he was alone. Nothing said 'not real' more than that.

It had been a shock the first time she'd become the physical embodiment of the light inside him.

A shock because he'd thought that he'd lost his light when he'd lost _her_.

A shock because his light _was _her.

He'd always thought of her as his light, but he hadn't realised exactly how deep that belief had gone. Down to his very soul.

It seemed a little cruel now, to see her wandering round, seemingly alive, and talking to people…

… Wait… she shouldn't be talking to people. _No-one _had ever seen her before, except for Sora, Donald and Goofy but that's because they had the Keyblade.

The realisation had hit him hard and he was up and moving before he'd had chance to think about it.

He found her in Merlin's house with the rest. As he burst through the door she turned to him and gave him _that _smile.

Hanging onto the door handle for dear life, he struggled to speak.

"Tifa…" Her smile grew wider. He lost whatever he'd been about to say, so he said the first thing that came to his head.

"… Welcome home."


	16. Awkward

I'm falling a little behind with the up-dates now, sorry! Only two more chapters to go after this one.

Btw, when I said 'plot'... I meant something more like, 'these chapters are linked'... heh heh...

**Disclaimer:** I do not own these characters.

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**Awkward:** lacking social graces or manners.

He'd always been awkward around women. Heck he was awkward around anyone, but women were particularly difficult.

Even when he'd dressed as one (don't ask…) he hadn't gained any insight.

But he was determined. For once in his life he was going to do something, he was going to be pro-active.

He cleared his throat. "Hey Tifa."

The brunette looked up from her unpacking and smiled at him.

His mind went completely blank and his tongue was tied. "Errrr…"

Her smile broadened into a grin and her eyes twinkled in amusement at his predicament. He grasped his quickly retreating courage and spoke.

"I missed you."


	17. Coward

Re-reading this one, I'm not quite sure what to make of it... lol!

Next chapter's the last one folks!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts or its characters.

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**Coward:** lacking courage; very fearful or timid.

It wasn't a hard word to say. People used it all the time, often in an offhand manner without real meaning.

So why couldn't he use it now?

Standing there, watching her as she laughed and talked with their friends, he said it over and over in his head.

But he knew he'd never say it out loud.

It was just a small word. People had always called him a hero, but he'd never felt less heroic.

He was just a coward.

She turned to smile at him before turning back to Yuffie, nodding her head at something the ninja said.

He _wanted _to use it, but he couldn't.

He just couldn't.

Because he was afraid.


	18. Hesitate

Finally, its the end (sniff).

I have more drabbles like these, but on different characters, which hopefully will one day be posted under the name 'Those Who Fight' but I'm currently swamped in work...

I think this one is my favourite, I wrote it quite early on. And for once, no angst... well not too much!

**Disclaimer:** For the final time, I don't own the characters in this fic.

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**Hesitate:** to be reluctant or wait to act because of fear, indecision, or disinclination.

"Are you coming to the party tonight?" He wasn't really listening to her. He was happy just watching her doing… whatever it was she was doing.

"We decided to have a sort of get together…" She was so beautiful, so… alive.

"…since so many people have made it back." It was like having a second chance.

"It's gonna be in the market place…" Actually, more like a fourth or fifth chance, but who was counting.

"Huey, Dewey and Louie are going to provide the music…" Yet it didn't seem to matter how many chances he had, he still hesitated.

"… Scrooge is catering, for free, surprisingly…" Even now, here, where it was just the two of them, he still hesitated.

"… Everyone's going to be there…" Stupid really, this was the perfect time, the perfect place…

"… Even Leon, sorry Squall said he'd go..." In fact he'd probably never get a better opportunity…

"… I just can't keep up with his name changes…" If he could just screw up his courage…

"… Hello? Cloud? Have you been listening to me?" If he could just move…

"Cloud? Stop spacing out! I swear, you're getting worse…" No more hesitating, he was going for it…

"Tifa… ... ... ...I love you." There, he'd finally done it.

"… took you're time saying it didn't you." She was grinning at him, the world hadn't ended and he was still here.

In fact… he decided to top off his good day by kissing her.

No more hesitating.

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I would like to thank (Oscar style) my reviewers: **Mandylion, Horky, BluSakura, Valentine'sNinja, Bluishorbs and luneress. **

Special thanks goes to **leafonthebreeze **who reviewed all my fics one after the other, ta muchly!

And extra special thanks go to my consistent reviewers: **Jediempress **(there from start to finish), **Shiba-X **(also an early bird), **sckry **(keep up the good work) and **Shattered Mirror01 **(found me eventually!).

So thank you all. Hope it ended satisfactorily for you.


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